


if i cant have the starring role

by intherainstorm



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Angst, Drabble, Implied Sexual Content, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-27
Updated: 2016-05-27
Packaged: 2018-07-10 13:02:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 467
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6986188
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/intherainstorm/pseuds/intherainstorm
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Soonyoung couldn’t walk away from that. As much as he wanted, he could never leave Jihoon.</p>
            </blockquote>





	if i cant have the starring role

Soonyoung danced around the room, trying to distract himself from the feeling of dread in his heart. He pumped his arms, twirled his body around, to the beat of the slow song. His head was light, and he wasn’t focusing at all. A feeling like a dark cloud hung over him, he couldn’t focus on the choreography at all.

He just wanted the feeling out, away from him. But it was always like this. He couldn’t avoid the fact that he wouldn’t ever feel like a star, like the one in focus. He knew that being in a band with as many members as Seventeen had, it wouldn’t be possible for him to have all the recognition that he deserved. But he just wanted people to feel the work he put into his dance, the work he put into what he did. The dances he created were something that always came from his heart, something that he had created with his own body.

Jihoon had appreciated him sometimes, but he wanted the older boy more than that. He didn’t him to just appreciate him, he wanted him to see him as he was. Soonyoung could ignore him for days just so that he would feel in control. But Jihoon would always get his attention, either with a recordning session, a compliment on a dancemove, or with his hands touching Soonyoung’s body gently, pulling him close. 

Hands on his torso, hands on his thighs, pulling the sweatpants down and feeling him and taking him, so so good. Jihoon could make him melt, with a touch, a word, a glance. Soonyoung would always be pliant in his hands, would always obey him. He would never turn the smaller boy down. He really adored him with all his heart, he would never leave him alone.

But he didn’t want this. He didn’t want to play the supporting role in Jihoon’s heart anymore, he couldn’t do it. He knew that there was no room for a starring role for Jihoon. That place was already taken by his elder. He’d never surpass him. Jihoon was cold, cold as ice, with a touch hot as fire and a gaze like the night sky. He knew the other boy didn’t want to hurt him, he didnt mean it.

Even when he knew this, feeling the soft milky skin of the other boy under his hands, as they slipped into a closet and touched each other, kissing with a passion that could at least seem like love, Soonyoung couldn’t walk away from that. As much as he wanted, he could never leave Jihoon. 

It seemed he’d have to play the supporting role for a while. Until he could pull himself out. Soonyoung kept on dancing. Twisting his body, moving his feet. Like he did best.

**Author's Note:**

> I want to continue this but idk how so ah I'll keep it here
> 
> deleted my drabble thing and I'll just upload separately from now


End file.
